STATS 13

Introduction to Statistical Methods for Life and Health Sciences

Description: Lecture, three hours; discussion, one hour; laboratory, one hour. Not open for credit to students with credit for course 10, 10H, 11, 12, or 14. Presentation and interpretation of data, descriptive statistics, introduction to correlation and regression and to basic statistical inference (estimation, testing of means and proportions, ANOVA) using both bootstrap methods and parametric models. P/NP or letter grading.

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A few days ago, I was in a horrific car crash. At some point, the paramedics told me that my heart stopped beating, and I was considered medically dead for 2 minutes. At some point in my period of unconsciousness, however, something incredible happened. After being in a state of utter and complete blackness for what seemed like an eternity, I suddenly woke up in a bright field with a long staircase in front of me. I walked up the staircase, feeling a pleasant warmth from the radiating sun surround me as I did so. Eventually, I reached giant golden gates at the top of the staircase. That's when the memory of the car crash hit me like a ton of bricks, and I suddenly realized that I had died and I was now at the gates of heaven. However, I wasn't frightened. There was something calming about this place. After waiting a few minutes, I saw a figure slowly walking towards me and the gates. He eventually reached the gates, and without even touching them, he summoned them to open. Something deep inside told me that this figure opening the doors and about to confront me was God. When the gates opened, he stepped forth, and that's when I saw his face. Standing in front of me, in all his godly grandiosity, was Akram Almohalwas. I was frozen with awe. He handed me a chi square table, and told me that the meaning of life can be determined alone from taking his Stats 13 class. At this moment I was certain: Almohalwas himself was God. I reached to touch his beautiful face, but that's when I woke up in the hospital. I will never forget this experience, and my life will never be the same afterwards.
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